5 Tips to Getting that Sought After Flat Stomach

I have some many women asking me about how to make their stomach flatter. Well I have good news and bad news…first the bad news…there is no miracle exercise, no exercise machine, cream, or pill that will give you a flat stomach. It just ain’t happening that way. Don’t be fooled by commercials claiming if you buy this machine you will have a flat stomach or take this diet pill to lose “belly fat.” It’s all lies. The good news is that you can have a flat tummy but you have to put in work and have discipline. I will tell you how to do just that…keep reading.

90% of trimming your waistline down has to do with what you put in your mouth…the food you eat! I know it isn’t what you want hear, but it’s the truth. If you don’t genetically have a small waistline, the only way for you to get there is to clean up your diet. Here are five great tips to get you on the road to a sexy slim waistline.

Stop Eating Processed Foods

If you want to get a flat stomach, you have to put the processed food down. I am not only talking about chips, cookies, etc…those are the obvious things. I’m talking about the 100 calorie snacks, the Special K bars, the flavored rice cakes, the reduced fat cookies and crackers, slim fast shakes, all that stuff. If you want to get that flat sexy stomach, you need to eat REAL FOOD…fruits, veggies, lean meat, healthy carbs. Most people who are not genetically skinny and have had to WORK to get a flat stomach and a toned body do not eat processed foods. If it comes in a box (other than nuts, dried oats, and brown rice), you don’t need to eat it. If you can eat the food now or three months from now, you don’t need to eat it. Real food won’t last for 3 months, it will be raw and spoiled…those are the types of foods you need to eat.

Lower Your Carbs

I am a believer of low carb or reduced carb diets. They just work. Carbs are sugar and excess sugar turns to fat in your body. So if you want to get that flat tight stomach, you have to pull back from the carbs. You should primarily only consume complex carbs. These types of carbs do not spike your insulin levels and create excess amounts of sugar to turn into fat. Here is a short list of some good complex carbs. Although you should eat complex carbs, you should limit the amount of carbs you eat daily. Try to consume between 50g -100g per day.

Nuts

Legumes

Fruits (ONLY-plums, peaches, apples, oranges, pears, grapefruit)

Brown Rice

Sweet potato

Oats

All-bran

Most Vegetables ( exceptions- carrots, corn, root vegetables)

Drink Water

To get a flat tummy, you must drink WATER! Stay hydrated. All of your sugary drinks and even diet sodas need to be replaced with water. Easy!

Perform Short High Impact Workouts

If you want a sexy slim waistline, you have to get moving and get moving fast. I am not talking about 30-45 low impact minutes on the treadmill. I’m talking about performing short bursts of high intensity exercises. One of the things I do are Tabata workouts. These are 4-minute workouts where you push your body to the limit to burn fat. I like to call them “fat burning quickies” Here is how it works…you perform a high intensity type of exercise for 20 seconds with 10 seconds of rest eight times. I sometimes do a Tabata jump rope workout. Here is how it goes:

Jump rope for 20 seconds (as fast and as many times as I can)

Rest for 10 seconds

Jump rope for 20 seconds (as fast and as many times as I can)

Rest for 10 seconds

…Repeat for eight total cycles

This is a killer workout and it only takes 4 minutes (20 seconds X 8) + (10 seconds of rest X 8) = 240 seconds = 4 MINUTES

You can do any kind of high intensity exercises (sprints, burpees, squats, etc.) to have a Tabata workout. Also, because they only take 4 minutes, you can do maybe three Tabata workouts per day and burn major fat…not to mention this type of high intensity exercise boosts your sex drive (YEA!). Stay tuned for an in-depth post on this fat burning quickie!

One other note…I use a Gym Boss Timer to time all of my Tabata workouts to make sure I am going for 20 seconds and only resting for 10 seconds. You can get one at this link below. This timer will keep you on your toes and push you.

Gymboss Interval Timer and Stopwatch – VIOLET / PINK METALLIC GLOSS

Perform Full Range Motion Ab Exercise

So, now we are at the ab exercise portion of the post. After you clean up your diet and begin drinking water, you can jump into performing ab exercises. The most effective ab exercises are those that give you a full range of motion and work all or most of your core muscles. The plank is one exercise that does just that. If you are not familiar with the plank, it is shown below. You simply hold this position, stabilizing your core (make your tummy hard) for a specified amount of time.

The next exercise is the leg raise. Leg raises force you to work your lower abs as well as your mid and upper abs. You get a full range of motion to work the majority of your ab muscles.

Here is a quick little daily ab workout which can be done in the mornings

Plank (Hold for 10 -30 seconds): Repeat 4 times

Leg Raises: 3 sets of 10 leg raises

So ladies, if you get your heart rate up and start eating the RIGHT foods, you can have a flat stomach. To get that sexy waistline, stop eating processed “healthy” food and get your butt in the kitchen and COOK the foods you eat. You could do 1000 ab exercises in a day; however, if you are putting the wrong kinds of foods in your body, you won’t see any results. And stop chilling on the treadmill or elliptical machine thinking you are doing something. Push yourself to the max for a short amount of time and watch how your body changes. You will be surprised.

If you want to know more tips on getting a sexy waistline, send me an email at melinda@libifit.com

Till next time…

Melinda

How Women Can Have Orgasms During Intercourse

Melinda

First off…this post is for GROWN WOMEN. If you’re not grown, don’t read it….

With that being said, I have to address the issue of us girls not having orgasms.

Having an orgasm is like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow…the trophy you get for winning the race…it’s not the icing on the cake, it’s THE CAKE! You know it’s a shame that many women don’t experience orgasms during sex which further decreases a woman’s desire to have sex. Recent studies have shown that 10% of women have never had an orgasm (OMG), and 75% of women do not have orgasms during intercourse. So, as you can see this is an epic problem.

Many women view sex as work and not having an orgasm is like going to work and not getting a paycheck. Who wants to do that? Well, we need to start reaching our peaks ladies. Having orgasms will certainly make sex more enjoyable and it will help to curve some of the reluctance to sex that’s killing our libidos. Also, during sex our bodies release oxytocin which is a chemical that it makes us feel connected to our men thereby increasing the quality of our relationship.

Now, if you are a healthy woman (not on any medication or any extreme hormonal conditions), then your lack of having orgasms is purely mechanic and psychological. It’s not your man’s fault ladies…you have to help him. It’s called TEAMWORK! A man cannot make you have an orgasm…he can FACILITATE (meaning he can help), but ultimately you have got to do what you need to do, to get where you’re trying to go.

So here are a few things from my experience that can help you to reach the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Mentally Attend the Love Making Session

While you are having sex, you need to be there…I mean mentally. Don’t think about everything that needs to be done, the errands you have to run tomorrow, or even about how he just left his socks in the middle of the floor. Don’t think about how the rolls on your back or the jiggle of your thighs. These are all psychological distractions. Think about the intimate moment you all are sharing. Visual him inside of you. BE MENTALLY PRESENT.

Speak Up

On average women speak about 20,000 word per day and men speak about 7,000. However, when it comes to sex, you won’t say a word. You won’t tell him the things you like and don’t like. Open your mouth girl. When he does something you like, tell him to “do it again”, “keep it right there”, and “don’t stop”. Many women experience flashes of pleasure during sex; however, because they don’t speak up, they are only flashes that don’t last. Speak up girl! Like I said, he FACILITATES! Guide him on how he can HELP you. Most men like it when a woman gives them guidance. They want you to get there! It makes them feel manlier.

Have a Pre-Party (Foreplay, Soothing Shower, Massage)

Before beginning your love making session, have a pre-party of foreplay, a soothing shower, or a massage. You can do one or all of them. This will help you to relax and get you in mood. Now let’s be real…you aren’t always going to have the sensual foreplay or the seductive massage before sex. Time doesn’t always allow for that. However, sometimes, you need to give your body and mind a chance to get in the mood. You need to be primed. Most men don’t need to be primed. They are pretty much 2 seconds from READY most of the time. But you need to speak up (there it is again), tell him to take it slow, and let him prime you. This will help to get your mind in a more relaxed state with less chance for psychological distractions.

Tense Up and Thrust

Okay, so this is going to sound contradictory to what I have previously written concerning relaxing, but you need to tense up. When I say tense up, I mean your pelvic muscles. You cannot just lay there during sex and expect to have an orgasm. During intercourse, try and flex your pelvic muscles. These are the muscles that control your urine flow. Exercises for these muscles are called Kegels. So, essentially, you should perform Kegels during intercourse. Also, try thrusting your pelvis and tensing up your butt and lower ab muscles.

Contracting your pelvic muscles, thrusting your hips, and tensing your muscles will increase the blood flow to your genital area which is critical for arousal. And as you know, arousal is the gateway to orgasms.

Diversify to Satisfy

If you and your man utilize the same position during sex, then you may need to diversify so that you will be satisfied. Change positions! Physically, your clitoris must be stimulated to have an orgasm. If the position you are currently using isn’t doing it for you, change it up. Maybe you guys need to do a 180 and you get on top. Don’t be afraid to try something new.

Let Go

The bottom line is that you need to let go. Stop thinking about what is going on outside of the bedroom, what you look like, how fat your thighs are, how silly you sound, what you have to do tomorrow, what you shouldn’t have eaten for lunch…forget everything. Get in the moment girl. Let him prime you with a massage, clear your mind, thrust your hips, tense your pelvis muscles, and tell him what you like to reach the gold at the end of the rainbow.

You already have things like stress, being overworked, being tired, and feeling self-conscious about the way that you look working against your sex drive. Don’t allow a lack of having orgasms be another inhibitor of your libido. Sex is important in a loving stable relationship because it strengthens the emotional bond. It also should be gratifying for him and YOU! Take my advice and try some of these recommendations and see if they help you to experience an orgasm, or at least find more pleasure in love making.

If you like this post, or if you didn’t like this post SPEAK UP! Let me know. Send me an email melinda@libifit.com

Till Next Time,

Melinda

Conquering Stress Eating for Once and All

Melinda

One of the biggest things women struggle with is stress eating. When we are faced with difficulty, stress, or just plain boredom, we eat and sometimes we eat a lot! We have some of your strongest cravings for food when we are at our weakest emotional points.

Have you ever dove into a chocolate Sunday when you have a long stressful day at work or when you and your hubby have had an argument? What about when you have finally made your mind up to lose weight, and after one week, you just feel as if it is hopeless and you dive into a bag of Nachos? If I haven’t gotten you yet what about one of these…a major expense comes up like your car needing repairs and you just don’t have the money, you find out your mom has cancer, or you didn’t get the promotion at work? All of these situations bring stress to our lives and because of a lack of self-awareness and an understanding of what is going on physically, we reach for chocolate, cookies, and ice cream.

Learning to deal with eating because of stress is vital to your mental and physical health. Also, if you want to get in those skinny jeans and feel sexy again, you’ve got to conquer binge and impulse eating. Also, learning not to turn to food when you are stressed, will give you a sense of empowerment and confidence, because you will learn how to deal with your emotions internally and control your responses to hiccups in your life…and if you didn’t know ladies…confidence is SEXY and it is admired by others.

So how do can you deal with eating because of stress? I am glad you asked. Here are a few ways to deal with stress eating and counter act the urges to eat when you are stressed.

Breathing and Meditation: Meditation is a method that forces you to stop and think. It removes you from your frantic moment. So in your stressful moments…STOP… close your eyes and take 10 deep breaths. Focus on your chest moving up and down and the air entering your body. See it in your mind. Bring yourself to center. Begin talking to yourself and telling yourself that you are not hungry, you are stressed and will not make bad food choices to bring on guilt later. Stopping to meditate and gather your thoughts will help you make better food choices.

Get on an Eating Schedule: I know our days are hectic and we, as women (and men too) are very busy. However, for many of us, our daily activities are pretty consistent. Because of this consistency, you can plan your meal times. So if you plan to eat breakfast at 7:00 AM, a small snack at 10:00 AM, lunch at 12:30, another small snack at 3:00 PM and dinner at 6:30, when you have a “texting war” with your husband at 4:30 and you reach for bag of chips, you will be much more aware that what you are eating is not on your schedule and the desire to eat was brought on by stress.

Eat: Okay, so this may sound funny, but when you are stressed you can eat. The key is WHAT you eat. There are certain foods with chemicals that help calm stress. Here are a few foods I recommend to eat when you are stressed:

Milk: Milk is a classic remedy for insomnia and tension. The reason for this is that milk has an amino acid that is converted into serotonin. Serotonin improves the mood and helps to keep you calm. That is why we sit in front of the television crying and eating ice cream…it makes us feel better. So instead of having that rocky road ice cream, have a glass of warm milk girl. Warming the milk will increase milk’s impact because if offers a soothing component to make you feel even better. In addition to that, you can only drink so much milk because it tends to make you feel full. This is great way to avoid filling your belly with salty, fatty foods.

Almonds: When people are driving you nuts….go have some! Have some almonds girl. Almonds are rich in vitamin B2 and E, both of which help to bolster the immune system during times of stress. If you have chronic stress problems, you should add almonds to your daily diet. Try adding about a quarter of a cup. Be advised that almonds are calorically dense (have many calories), so don’t eat too many. However, if you want to eat a few more when you are stressed, go right ahead. Again, eating almonds is better than a bag of chips or chocolate chip cookies. Hey, you can combine the effect of almonds and milk by drinking almond milk for stress. Try it…it works.

Oatmeal: Oatmeal is another food that elevates the serotonin calm-inducing hormone. Get some of the old-fashioned oats that must be cooked instead of the instant oatmeal. The reason for this is because the old fashioned oats are more coarse and higher in fiber and they take longer to digest which makes their calming effect last longer. However, if you are at work or away from home and can’t cook oatmeal on the stove, instant oats will work just fine.

EXERCISE: You know I had to throw this one in there. When are stressed get moving…go exercise. Exercise releases endorphins which triggers a positive feeling in your body. For me, I have found that vigorous exercise helps me to reduce stress…like weight lifting or running sprints. However, any exercise, whether high or low intensity, will cause a release of endorphins helping to ease your stress. Here are a few ways to get moving to break the hold of stress.

Walking/Jogging

Yoga

Jumping Rope

Squats (drop it low and fast to get your heart pumping and blood flowing)

Jumping Jacks

Lifting Weights

Dancing!!! (yes…turn on some music to get you pumped, feel the music, and just move)

Sex (oh yeah, this can be a form of exercise, if you actively participate and don’t just lay there)

Okay, so if you don’t take my advice and you do end up binging on some ice cream or Doritos you need to:

Forgive yourself. You ate it, get over. If you remain depressed about the food you ate because of stress, guess what, you have further increased your stress and this will probably lead to more eating. You will enter a vicious… stress-eat-stress-eat cycle. STOP THE CYCLE
Learn from it. If you plan your meals as I suggested, and you see a break in the schedule, take note of it. Become aware of the situations and circumstances causing you to constantly deviate from your set eating schedule. Being aware will help you to retain self-control when you are faced with these situation.
Pump up the intensity of your next workout. Assuming you do exercise on the regular, if you happen to binge on some crap because you feel bad, “reward” yourself with some extra exercise. At the end of your workout session, add 5 minutes of an exercise you absolutely hate because it pushes you to the limit. I don’t care who you are, if you exercise, there are exercises you do because you know they are effective, but you absolutely hate them. I kinda hate squats because they hurt…I have bad knees from playing basketball… but I love what they do for my butt and thighs. So, in my case, after I have finished my workout, I would throw in 75 air squats (squats with no weight) to “reward” myself for stress eating. But, because I exercise on the regular and eat clean, I really don’t “stress eat.” You can get there too if you stick with me!

So there you have it ladies, my thoughts on how to deal with and conquer stress eating. Honestly, the very best way to deal with stress eating is to have a regular healthy diet, eat on an approximate schedule, and exercise at least three times per week. Also, learning how to emotionally detach from situations and realizing the situations that push you to eat to find comfort will help you to address eating because of stress as well. Consistency and structure are the key. When there is structure and consistency, you will be more even keel and able to emotionally and mentally handle hiccups.

If you like this post, let me know. If you have questions, let me know. Email me if you want to converse…Melinda@libifit.com

Till next time,

Melinda

Cheat to Win the Weight Loss Battle

Melinda

One of the main reasons why people fail at starting to eat healthy and maintaining a healthy diet is because they don’t CHEAT! I don’t mean cheat every day, I mean having a half of a cheat day or a cheat meal to give you mind a “food rendezvous” to keep you sane and to keep your metabolism responding.

Now listen, I’m not telling you not to eat sugar. That’s insane. I myself love to have Krispy Kreme doughnuts and french fries every now and then…key words “NOW AND THEN.” I don’t indulge in these things daily or two or three times per week. If I do decide to have something like this, it’s once per week. I am currently practicing the Slow Carb diet from Tim Ferris’ book, The 4-Hour Body. This basically consists of eating lean protein, legumes (beans and lentils), and green veggies. One day per week, I have what he refers to in the book as a “binge day.” The word “binge” doesn’t sound so great so I will just say cheat day, but on my ONE cheat day per week, I eat whatever I want in whatever quantities I want. If you’re interested in more details, you should check out the book.

At any rate, my cheat day is somewhat of “controlled chaos”. I eat a clean, lower carb diet all week, and then on Sundays (which is the day I selected as my cheat day), I let it rip. On Sundays, after I eat a clean low carb breakfast, I eat whatever I want for the rest of the day. So for instance, this past Sunday before church, I woke up and had a can of tuna (he recommends eating 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes of waking up) around 7:00 AM then I had my low carb breakfast of turkey sausage and egg whites around 9:20 AM. Then, after church, I had French fries, 4 Krystal hamburgers, Butterfinger Buttercup, Goobers, and Doritos for the rest of the day. Yea… a whole bunch of crap.

Honestly, physically, I felt like garbage, but mentally, I was kinda satisfied because I had broken up the monotony of my week long eating habits of lean protein, legumes, and veggies. I gave myself a mental break and I allowed my body to experience a small sugar high. Also, because of this influx of sugar, my metabolism would continue to respond. In essence this cheat day, threw a curve ball at my body to make sure that my fat burning furnace was still working.

Now some diet experts and fitness professionals may feel that this is reckless eating and will create unhealthy habits…and they are entitled to their opinion. However, just dealing with people concerning diets, having them face a life without the foods they love, is demotivating and unattractive. So instead of having this type of “controlled chaotic cheat day,” they just eat crap all the time and never start a diet. I believe that mentally, everyone needs a cheat day or a cheat meal. Notice… I didn’t say a cheat weekend! Having a cheat day/meal, gives your mind a “food rendezvous”.

As far as the cheat day goes, I do follow Tim Ferris’ advice in the book to a certain extent; however, the day after my cheat day, I completely carb deplete (other than carbs from veggies). On that day which is Monday, I remove the legumes from my diet and only eat veggies, lean protein, and the occasional teaspoon of peanut butter or almond butter. For me, this helps keep me from gaining any weight after my cheat day. If you want more details about how my diet goes after a cheat day or for entire week, send me an email at Melinda@libifit.com. That is one of my little twists to the 4-hour body methodology for dieting…having the low-no carb day after cheat day. Also on my cheat day, I don’t eat until I’m sick and stuffed as Tim does in the book. To me that is a bit overboard. I do eat until I am nice and full.

Wait one second…for all of you chicks that hop on the scale every day and a one pound change devastates you, you don’t need to weigh yourself after a cheat day. Most of the time, you will temporarily gain weight…possibly 3 -5 pounds directly after your cheat day. However, 2 or 3 days after your cheat day, if you have gone back to your clean eating plan, your weight will start to decrease again. Also, if your cycle is on you may retain water so you will possibly weigh more during that time as well.

So in short, you have to cheat to win the weight loss battle. Having foods you enjoy that are not so healthy at specifically designated times, gives you a little freedom while still controlling your diet. Just from eating clean for so many years, an entire cheat day isn’t necessary for me. Eating clean is now in my DNA and it is when I feel the best. I am just doing it now to see how my body will respond. Once you start eating clean, the excitement and desire for cheat days and meals will subside.

One last note, having ONE cheat meal is more reasonable for people who have not been eating clean for at least 21 days. The reason for this is that they have not yet developed the habit of healthy eating so cheating all day may drive them back to their former unhealthy eating ways. Remember…it takes 21 days to create and break a habit.

So ladies, don’t be afraid to cheat. Go have a reasonable satisfying “food rendezvous” to help keep you sane and to keep your fat burning furnace going. After your rendezvous, get back on healthy horse and ride it girl!

If you want to hear more about how I cheat and stay lean or you want to learn more about The 4-Hour Body, purchase the book and send me an email. I read and respond to every email.

Melinda

5 Reasons Why You Can’t Lose Weight

Melinda

So you’ve started your diet…alright cool! You’re eating better food most of the time and you still aren’t losing weight and you wonder why. Well here are the top 5 reasons I have found to explain why people don’t lose weight.

1. You start a new diet every Monday.

So you eat clean all week and on the weekends you just let go. You eat crap the entire weekend and your diet gets shot to hell. By doing this, you basically negate everything you have accomplished during the week. You go back to ground ZERO!

Solution: Have one cheat meal during the weekend. You can still eat a little crap, just not every freaking day of the weekend. You need to have a cheat meal to keep your metabolism responding to your diet and weight loss efforts, and you need to eat what you want at some point to keep you sane. So have one cheat meal…not a cheat WEEKEND!

2. You overeat healthy foods.

You’re eating healthy which is great. You have replaced your Twinkies with rice cakes. But you eat the whole bag of rice cakes. You’ve replaced your Lays Potato chips with veggie chips from the whole foods store, but you binge on them. What you don’t realize is that you are still consuming a whole bunch of calories…whether it is via Twinkies or rice cakes. You have to reduce the amount of calories you consume in order to lose weight.

Solution: Read the label and actually take note of the serving size and the calories and fat per serving. The serving size on food packaging is there for a reason, although sometimes they are pretty ridiculous (one serving of cashews is like 10 cashews…who nobody eats just 10 cashews!). However, this gives you an idea of how many calories you are consuming if you eat the full package or half of the package. Read labels to ensure you are aware of the calories you are consuming. Also, you need to just dial down on the health food. So called
“health” foods can still make you fat if they are consumed in large portions.

3. Your salads are loaded with calories

Your salads are way too fattening. You start off well with the grilled chicken and the lettuce, tomatoes and other veggies. Then you add, candied pecans, the dried cranberries, the croutons, the raisins, and the dressing. All of these things pile on the calories and turn your salad into a pile of fat and sugar.

Solution: Eight-six the croutons, dried fruit, and the fatty dressing. Even though it’s fruit, dried fruit is full of sugar and, in my opinion, should be eliminated in order to achieve maximum fat loss. As far as dressings are concerned, go for the vinaigrette dressings and measure out portions and serving sizes based on the package labeling.

4. You go out to eat too much

If you really want to lose weight, eat at home. When you go out to restaurant, even though you order the grilled chicken and mixed veggies, chances are high that they were cooked with a huge amount of butter and fat. This packs on the calories and does not help you to lose weight.

Solution: Stop being lazy and cook at home, then you will know exactly what is in the food you eat.

5. You aren’t prepared

This is a biggie. If you aren’t prepared, you will fail at your weight loss attempts. I preach this all of the time to my clients and to people who are frustrated with failed attempts at losing weight. If you are attacked by hunger, if you don’t have healthy snack handy or have food already prepared, you will more than likely end up eating garbage out of a vending machine, convenient store, or fast food joint.

Solution: Cook your meals ahead of time. That way, when you arrive home, tired and stressed from your long day, you won’t be tempted to run out and pick up something from a fast food joint. You will already have your meal prepared and ready. Also, keep healthy snacks in your purse or in your car to help eliminate those vending machine and convenient store stops and visits.

These are just five reasons why you can’t lose weight. I could go on but I don’t want to throw too much at you right now. Keep coming back to the blog or contact me if you are struggling with losing weight. Weight loss is about so much more than “the perfect diet.” Your success is tied to a lifestyle transformation as well as being educated on what foods are best for you. If you need any help or have any questions, feel free to email me. I read and answer every email.

Till next time,

Melinda

Overcoming Body Image Issues Concerning Sex

Melinda

You know, I was listening to this podcast the other day and this guy was talking about how to get fit for sex. He was mainly talking about it from a male perspective, but he said something that really made me think and I had to share it with you ladies. First off as women, many of us feel self-conscious about our bodies and don’t want our man to see us naked during sex. We feel like the minute our clothes come off, he will stare at our thunder thighs or that baby pouch we have on our stomach. But this guy, Jordan Gray, said what a man sees is the complete opposite. He said when a man sees an undressed woman standing in front of them, all he sees is this magical haze, and all of the details about her body vanish. So because they don’t see our imperfections, we need to stop beating ourselves up about them and letting that stop us from wanting to participate in sex.

So, I must admit, I have been self-conscious about my husband seeing me naked before. After I had my first baby, and gained 60 pounds, I was miles away from the previous “figure bodybuilding” body my husband was used to. My stomach wasn’t as tight and I went from weighing a muscular petite 130 pounds to a kinda chunky 175 pounds. I had stretch marks and I didn’t want him to see naked at all. If we had sex, it had to be in the dark and I covered myself as much as possible. But overtime, I realized that this man loves me and he doesn’t see what I see. He sees the mother of his child…his soul mate…his life partner…the love of his life. So I stopped beating myself up about how I looked and just went with it! Also, I could “feel” that he was aroused, so he basically didn’t care about my extra chubbiness.

What I am saying is that we beat ourselves up way too much. We are our worst critic. As far as sex goes, if you’re making love to a man that TRULY LOVES YOU, then that love he feels for you, will create the “haze” that Jordan Gray referred to and he won’t see your cellulite or the rolls on your back. This haze creates a vision of love for him…the only person that sees imperfection is YOU. That’s why it is called LOVE MAKING…because where there is pure love, there is no judgment and ridicule.

Being in the nude with someone is one of the most vulnerable situations in which you can be with another person. If, while in this vulnerable state, someone is judging you and making hurtful comments, you need to ask yourself if the man really loves you anyway. In that situation, your body isn’t the issue…your relationship is the problem.

So back to your self-consciousness…kill it girl! Stop beating yourself up. You don’t enjoy sex or want to have it because you are concerned about too much. It’s time for you to overcome the psychological barrier of self-image as it pertains to your sex life. It’s affecting the intimacy of your relationship. So first off, initiate sex. I know that is foreign to most of you because most of you currently have to be coaxed or coerced into getting it on. But this time, you initiate the love making. If you need some tips on how to do this, email me. Next, get undressed with your man and make love UNCOVERED WITH THE LIGHTS ON! This will help you to confront your self-image issue and to see that, when it comes to getting down, it doesn’t even matter!

You know, if you don’t deal with your body image issues, you could lose your thunder thighs and tone up the kangaroo pouch on your stomach and you will still be uncomfortable allowing your lover to see you naked. You gotta deal with what’s inside your head. You may need to drop some pounds, but you also need to drop the criticality with which you judge your own body. Let it go girl! Go make that man HAZY!!!

If you like this post let me know. If you didn’t like this post let me know. I want to hear from you. You can send me an email at any time at melinda@libifit.com. I read and respond to every email.

Melinda

I ONLY EAT ONCE PER DAY…WHY CAN’T I LOSE WEIGHT?

Melinda

So many women come to me perplexed because they only eat one time per day or they don’t eat very much and they are still overweight. They don’t understand how the small amount of food they intake is keeping them overweight or how they are constantly gaining weight. This is one of the biggest misconceptions about weight loss. People think that by severely restricting calories they will safely and effectively lose weight…WRONG!!! Hopefully I can dispel this myth for you and help you ladies get on the road to losing weight.

The first reason why you aren’t losing any weight by only eating one time per day is that your body is going into starvation mode. God made our bodies to be super intelligent. Our bodies have a natural instinct to try and survive. So when you limit the amount of food you give to your body, it worries about the amount of calories that are coming in. So when you do eat, and give it calories, it automatically turns the calories into fat. Fat is what the body uses as survival energy depots. So if you think about it, you can parallel this mechanism with a scene from the movie, The Blindside. If you can recall, in the movie, when the young teenage boy, Michael, has Thanksgiving dinner with the Tuohy’s, he stuffs some bread into his pocket to have for later. He does this because he isn’t sure when he will get another meal. Your body does this same thing with the calories you give it at your one daily meal… but instead of putting it in pockets, it puts in your fat stores.

In order to keep your fat levels low, you need to intake calories throughout the day. Not just any calories but good calories from healthy foods. Your daily caloric intake should be, at a minimum, above your BMR, which is your Basal Metabolic Rate. BMR is the minimum calories your body needs to perform its most basic functions and minor movements throughout the day. There is a link to for a BMR calculator at the end of this post. If you are eating once per day, or even only twice per day, you need to check it out.

Okay so let’s say you are eating more than the calories required per your BMR…well if you are consuming all of these calories at one setting then your body is triggering high levels of insulin production to quickly lower your abnormally high glucose (sugar) levels. Here’s the thing, if you are consuming all of those calories at one meal, then you are probably eating a lot of carbohydrates. Carbohydrates are essentially sugar and all of this sugar is ushered straight to your fat cells via insulin. This is why you can’t lose weight.

Even if your one daily meal is primarily protein and fat, your body will still store the surplus surge of calories as body fat. This is due to the starvation mode you have put your body into as I mentioned above.

Having knowledge gives you incredible power. Now you know why your little plan of only eating once per day is getting you nowhere. You need to make sure you are eating throughout the day…whether it is 3 meals per day or 5-6 small meals. EAT GIRL!!!

Also, let me state the obvious…you can’t eat crap 3 times per day, or 5-6 times per day and expect to lose weight either. You have to have a healthy diet.

So here’s the deal:

1) Never starve yourself

2) Never eat all your calories in one meal. Eat healthy food throughout the day.

If you want to know your BMR or BMI, check out the link below.

https://www.libifit.com/free-stuff/bmr-bmi-calculator/

Now, go eat something girl!

Melinda

Drop It Like A SQUAT!

Melinda

Drop it like a SQUAT! One of the most desired, coveted body parts that every woman wants is a nice round, firm, but yet juicy booty. We buy jeans that make our butt look better. Women get surgical but lifts. Some women buy inserts to put in their pants…all to get a nice butt. The fellas do like, and we will go through hell and high water to get it! There is however, a way to get a nice firm butt without surgery or inserts. You can get one the old fashioned way by squatting. Not only can you get a nice firm butt from squatting, squats actually can increase your libido. Let me explain how.

First of all squats require to use the largest muscles in your body. When you squat, you activate your glutes (butt), you hamstrings (back of your thighs) and your quadriceps (front of your thighs). Because you are using these muscles and they are some of the largest muscles in your body, you will produce a higher amount of testosterone. Now ladies, please understand that testosterone is not just for men. You have it in your body as well. Although your testosterone levels are much lower than a man’s, testosterone is key to your sex drive. It fuels your sex drive just as it does for a man. Exercising and utilizing your muscles increases testosterone production and helps to increase your libido.

When you squat you are engaging your hip power and your pelvic power. As you squat, you should drive your body from your hips and pelvis on the way up. Driving from your hips and pelvis will increase your blood flow in your genital area. Having adequate blood flow to your genitals helps to key for sexual arousal and desire.

One other thing…when you go really deep with your squats and use some type of weight, you activate your pelvic floor muscles…essentially performing kegel exercises. For those of you who don’t know, a kegel is what you do when you use your pelvic muscle to stop urination. So when you want to stop your pee flow, you contract this muscle. Well, performing kegels is a way to further increase the blood flow to your genital area helping to increase the power and likelihood of you having an orgasm. Don’t get excited…you can’t have an orgasm doing squats. Sorry! But it will help you to prepare your body to be in a state where, when having sex, you will experience more pleasure.

Because you are in hot pursuit of the Beyoncé/JLo booty, squats are the best exercise to give you that firm curve you are looking for. The treadmill, nor the elliptical will give you the butt you desire. You need resistance training and exercises specifically targeted to these areas. The beautiful thing about squats is that you can do them anywhere…at home, at the gym…in the bathroom at work…ANYWHERE!

You can exercise without any weight and do air squats, or you can do heavy squats. I recommend, if you are not a big time weight lifter, to just do high volume air squats. I recommend starting out with doing about 100 per day, dropping your as low as you can. Below is a quick shot of me performing squats. Use this technique and get LOW!

If you want to add a little weight, you can use a kettlebell and perform 50 goblet squats using the kettlebell as show below.

Now, I am going to be completely transparent here because it’s just us girls. In addition to running sprints, working out with kettlebells, and all of the other stuff I do, I have a day at the gym where I only work my legs. So I do squats, lunges, stiff leg deadlifts, leg extensions, and leg curls. On my leg days, when I lift heavy and specifically focus on my legs, I feel much more sexually aggressive. However, I am sore and my legs do kinda feel like jelly. So ladies, do, go get it and push yourself with the squats, but not to the point where you’re telling your man…”Baby, I can’t put my leg up like that, it hurts.”

Okay girl, so there you have it. If you want the firm booty, and if you want to ingite your libido and get a little sexual aggression and in the bedroom, try squatting. You will be sore at first, I must say. However, if you keep at it, the soreness will leave.

So girl, drop it hot…DROP IT LIKE A SQUAT!

If you want to learn more ways to firm up that booty and get in shape, send me an email at melinda@libifit.com

Melinda

How to Have the Best Known Aphrodisiac Without Wrecking Your Diet

Melinda

Chocolate. The world’s best known aphrodisiac. We have all seen commercials and ads showing strawberries dipped in chocolate and being bitten by bright red female lips. This luscious treat is a staple sex for or prelude to sex food. But let’s face it, eating chocolate is not the path to a sweet, sexy body…or is it? Can you have the sweet treat without wrecking your diet? Yes you can, and I’m going to tell you how.

First, of chocolate can make anybody feel better. It is THE love food. That’s why every freakin’ thing in the store around Valentine’s Day is chocolate. It actually imitates the feeling of being in love. So as a quick side note, if you are feeling lonely…have some chocolate. Dark chocolate in particular helps to increase your libido. A compound in dark chocolate called phenylethylamine releases the same endorphins triggered by sex and will increases the attractive feelings between two people. Phenylethylamine is also known as the “love chemical.” The Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that individuals that consume at least one cube of dark chocolate everyday experience greater desire and better overall sexual function than those who do not.

Also, chocolate has a chemical called theobromine which is a mild anti-depressant. It has been found that women who eat chocolate feel more calm and relaxed after eating it. The effect of theobromine is long lasting and remains in the blood stream for 6 to 10 hours. It also stimulates the muscular and cardiovascular systems.

So basically:

If you’re lonely, EAT CHOCOLATE

If you’re sad, EAT CHOCOLATE

If you want to feel good, EAT CHOCOLATE

(Wow…do we really need a man???)

If you’re feeling froggy and in the mood, EAT CHOCOLATE

(Yea…we need one!!!)

If your man is feeling froggy and in the mood and you’re not, EAT CHOCOLATE

But wait…just because we want to increase our libido by eating chocolate, we don’t want to wreck our diets. Chocolate does make you feel good and help to get you in the mood, but that is not a license to go out and load up on Hershey’s bars and M&M’s! Those are not the types of chocolate I am suggesting to add to your diet. The key is DARK CHOCOLATE…not MILK CHOCOLATE.

The only chocolate you should add to your diet is dark chocolate. I mean the kind of chocolate that is at least 72% cocoa. Why? Well, it’s healthier for you due to flavanols. Research has shown that flavanols help to lower blood pressure and assist in vascular function. They also improve cognitive function. These are additional benefits to those mentioned above. So… more cocoa means more flavanols. Here are a few brands of chocolate I recommend. You can find these almost anywhere.

Godiva

You should get the Godiva chocolate with at least 72% cocoa. If you want to go higher you can. I don’t particularly care for anything with a higher cocoa content, but everyone is different. Go with whatever floats your boat girl!

Ghirardelli Intense Dark

Again you can go with which you like here….72% or 86%.

Lindt

Lindt has a 70% bar which is okay. It’s about 2% less than what I would suggest, but 2% is not a huge difference.

Green & Black

Green & Black also has a 70% bar which is fine. Green & Black is also organic. So for all you ladies that strictly eat organic products, this will work for you.

Okay so, you have my recommendations for specific chocolate to eat. But here is one more thing…probably the most important thing. You know the serving portion label on the packaging….well it’s there for a reason! Use it! Only eat 1 or ½ serving. These serving portion amounts help to give you control and boundaries. If you go overboard with eating this chocolate, you will put on weight. And guess what…more weight could very well kill your sex drive…the opposite of what we are trying to do here. So only eat one serving or ½ of a serving when you consume chocolate.

I also recommend not eating chocolate every day. Let’s face it…most of us don’t have sex every day. If you did, you probably would not be reading this. So there is no need to try and take advantage of the libido promoting effects of chocolate every day. Hopefully you don’t feel sad and lonely EVERY day, so you shouldn’t need the mood boosting effects of chocolate every day. Therefore, you should probably only eat it about 2 -3 times per week.

EXCEPTION: On the rare occasion your man brings some chocolate covered strawberries home as a prelude to a “meeting in the bedroom” throw caution to the wind and eat up girl!!! It may be a long time before that happens again.

If you like this post, leave a comment or email me and let me know.

Melinda

melinda@libifit.com

5 Reasons Why the Biggest Loser is a Fallacy

Melinda

We have all seen the show the Biggest Loser and have been inspired seeing people lose over 100 pounds and change their lives. I actually like the show and it’s really moving…but it’s a big fallacy. Yes, those people lose weight…that much is obvious. However, the show gives people in the real world, a false sense of how to lose weight. You watch the show over 2-3 months and you believe these people lose all of this weight in an insane amount of time…which is not true. Actually, many things conditions on the show would not happen in your REAL life. That is why, I believe, it is a fallacy. Here are 5 reasons why the Biggest Loser is a Fallacy:

Those people have part-time jobs of working out

The contestants on the biggest loser work out for at least 4 hours per day…2 hours in the morning and 2 hours later in the day. That’s bananas!!! There is no way you can workout for 4 hours a day. You absolutely don’t have the time to do it, and even if you did, would you want to? I love working out, lifting weights, running…all that stuff. But there is nothing I want to do for four hours except sleep!

They have chefs there to cook their meals

The contestants on the show have chefs to cook all of their meals. They don’t have to worry about going to the grocery store, deciding what to buy, and trying to make time to cook it. It is all done for them. This is not the case in your world. YOU have to plan your meals. YOU have to buy the groceries. YOU have to cook the food. Wouldn’t it be so easy to lose weight if a gourmet chef presented you with a low calorie nutritious meal that tasted like heaven? It would be girl, but let’s face it, that’s only dream!

They have high dollar trainers pushing them every minute

You don’t have a trainer (you could have me if you wanted). You don’t have someone screaming in your ear and planning 4 hour workouts for you that push you until you puck. Personally, I don’t mind working out to the point of vomiting. I think it builds character and determination…but that doesn’t float everybody’s boat and it certainly isn’t necessary to lose weight. At any rate, you don’t have a trainer. Even if you did have a trainer, you would not have them holding your hand for a 4 HOUR WORKOUT.

They have limited access and means to get bad food

While the contestants are on the “ranch”, they don’t have access to cars or means of transportation to go get any food. So they can’t make a late night run to the grocery store to get ice cream. Nor can they stop by Starbucks when they want a Frappuccino. But you can…you have to will power where these people have physical restrictions. They have limited means to screw up. Also, they are isolated. Their girlfriends can’t call them up to go have dinner at the Cheesecake Factory or Outback. They don’t have to go to little kids birthday parties where there is a cake that can feed 100 people and you just have to have a piece. They also don’t have to deal with all of the sweets left in the breakroom at the office…you know what I mean?

The show actually lasts around 9 months not the 3 months we see on TV

Did you know that the contestants are actually on the “ranch” for about 3 months or so and then they go home for 6 months and come back and film the finale? So to you at home, it looks like these people lose 100+ pounds in 3 months, when actually it is about 9 months or. So don’t think it happens overnight.

As I stated above, the Biggest Loser is a good show. That’s all it is…a TV SHOW! It is there to entertain us…to make us mad…to make us cry…to make us feel good about watching other people transform, and on the surface, become happier. Please take it for just that. Don’t feel demotivated when you hop on the scale and you have only loss 3 pounds in a week (which is freakin awesome), as opposed to the 8 pounds per week the Biggest Loser contestants lose. You are not in the same environment…you live in the real world.

Also, remember that if you are less than about 30 pounds overweight, you aren’t going to have dramatic weekly weight loss. You have less to lose so it will come off much slower than someone who has 80 pounds to lose. If you lose 2 pounds or so per week that’s awesome. The closer you get to your weight loss goal, the harder you are going to have to work to get it off. Just be diligent. Nothing worth having comes easy. If you want that sexy body and to look as hot as you use to, then you have got to be dedicated and understand that it’s gonna take some work girl! Now get in there!

If you need some help getting start, shoot me an email at melinda@libifit.com. I love to hear from you guys. It lets me know someone’s listening!

Melinda

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