As women, we are some of the most beautiful smart beings on this planet, but yet we don’t know it. Some of us lack self-confidence so much so that it is debilitating and literally paralyzing our mentality from believing anything positive about ourselves. We don’t believe we are good enough to get that promotion at work, or go back to school to finish a degree or obtain a more advanced one. We don’t believe that we can lead a group of people or be a phenomenal fabulous woman. Well, ladies I’m here to tell you that you can. Building self-confidence is a process. It isn’t something that will happen overnight; however, there are things you can right now to begin that building process. Here are seven things you can do right now to start building your new house of self-confidence.
1. Increase Your Knowledge
Knowledge is power. If you are powerful you will be more confident. Education is one of the keys to having solid confidence and belief in yourself. Education comes in many forms and through many mediums. The obvious sources of education are college or some other type of post-secondary formal education. However, in addition to those, there are many other ways to become educated and gain more knowledge. Knowledge can be obtained in a physical or virtual classroom, in a video you watch on YouTube , by listening iTunes podcast, in a book, or even a conversation. Knowledge is all around us and is so readily available. If you would simply open your eyes and reach out for it, you can obtain it and simultaneously empower yourself and build the foundation of your house of self-confidence.
2. Speak Positively
We are own worse critics. We speak so many negative things out of our very own mouths about ourselves each day. Little do we know by doing this we are committing self-confidence suicide. Some of you have had rough lives and have been verbally abused. You’ve been told they are not smart enough, too fat, too skinny, unqualified, or not pretty enough. After hearing these negative words over and over, they become engrained in the mind and are subconsciously accepted as being true. You then begin to speak negative words yourself and tell yourself “I’m too fat”…”I’m just not smart enough”…”I’ll never be successful.” If self-confidence is your desire, you absolutely have to stop speaking negative words about yourself. You must replace all of the negative thoughts about your abilities, appearance, and overall worth, with positive words to uplift yourself. Just because someone said something about you doesn’t mean it’s true nor do you have to accept it as being true. Stop accepting and receiving negative comments. You cannot stop people from saying negative derogatory things about you. However, you can control what you say about yourself. So speak positively. Love yourself. What do you say about people you love? Would you tell your child “You’re not good enough” or “You’re not pretty enough”? Of course not! Learn to love yourself and speak to yourself as someone you love.
3. Dress Better
Now ladies we all have that one outfit, or that one dress, that when we put it on, we know we have it going on. When we put on that outfit, we feel better about ourselves and we have a little extra swag. It’s amazing what clothes will do for your confidence. I’m not advocating going out and spending loads of money to make yourself feel better. That’s not wise. However, try to begin accumulating nice clothes or outfits that make you feel like “a bad chic.”
4. Exercise
Exercise is another way to build yourself confidence. As you become more fit and strong your self-esteem will begin to soar. I am a personal trainer and have trained many clients over the years. I watch people get stronger as their workouts progress and as their physical strength improves, their mental toughness and self-confidence does as well. There is something extremely empowering about physical strength and fitness. This is why I am an advocate for women participating in some type of weight lifting or strength training. Physical strength translates into mental strength and boosts your self-confidence.
5. Improve Posture
A super simple way to quickly boost your self-confidence is to improve your posture. Pull your shoulders back, raise your head, and stand tall. The simple act of standing up straight and sticking your chest out just a bit gives you a quick shot of confidence. Try it! Look, if you are lacking self-confidence now, by standing up straight, you will be perceived as others as having confidence even if you don’t. I say…fake it till you make it baby!
6. Make Eye Contact and Smile
Making eye contact and simply smiling when you address someone will boost your confidence. When you make eye contact with a person you instantly exude confidence. Adding a smile will help to diminish some of the shyness you may feel.
7. Take Risks
Taking risks is something we all shy away from because we are either afraid of failing or just feel we are not capable of what the risky situation requires. If you want to build your self-confidence, you have to take risks. Taking risks not only pushes you beyond your limits, it helps you to grow. Failure is not always bad. As you continue to take risk, risky situations and decisions won’t be so uncomfortable for you because they will be something you experience often. As you take risks, you will develop the mindset that, if something bad does happen or I do fail, then it’s not the end of the world. You believe that you will live to fight another day. You develop a survivor mentality and will not easily be swayed or shaken. So, take risks. Of course you should weigh them before you take them; however, taking risks will give your self-confidence the final boost to help take your success in whatever you do, to the next level.
There you have it, seven ways to boost your confidence. As you can see, none of these techniques to build your confidence were dependent upon anyone except you. Don’t let other people dictate your confidence level. Increase your knowledge. Hold your head high, exercise, and dress for success. Say positive things about yourself and look other people squarely in the eyes because you are just as worthy as they are. Take risks. Push yourself to develop and be a resilient woman. Do this and your self-confidence will go to a whole new level.
Till next time…
Melinda