You know, I was listening to this podcast the other day and this guy was talking about how to get fit for sex. He was mainly talking about it from a male perspective, but he said something that really made me think and I had to share it with you ladies. First off as women, many of us feel self-conscious about our bodies and don’t want our man to see us naked during sex. We feel like the minute our clothes come off, he will stare at our thunder thighs or that baby pouch we have on our stomach. But this guy, Jordan Gray, said what a man sees is the complete opposite. He said when a man sees an undressed woman standing in front of them, all he sees is this magical haze, and all of the details about her body vanish. So because they don’t see our imperfections, we need to stop beating ourselves up about them and letting that stop us from wanting to participate in sex.
So, I must admit, I have been self-conscious about my husband seeing me naked before. After I had my first baby, and gained 60 pounds, I was miles away from the previous “figure bodybuilding” body my husband was used to. My stomach wasn’t as tight and I went from weighing a muscular petite 130 pounds to a kinda chunky 175 pounds. I had stretch marks and I didn’t want him to see naked at all. If we had sex, it had to be in the dark and I covered myself as much as possible. But overtime, I realized that this man loves me and he doesn’t see what I see. He sees the mother of his child…his soul mate…his life partner…the love of his life. So I stopped beating myself up about how I looked and just went with it! Also, I could “feel” that he was aroused, so he basically didn’t care about my extra chubbiness.
What I am saying is that we beat ourselves up way too much. We are our worst critic. As far as sex goes, if you’re making love to a man that TRULY LOVES YOU, then that love he feels for you, will create the “haze” that Jordan Gray referred to and he won’t see your cellulite or the rolls on your back. This haze creates a vision of love for him…the only person that sees imperfection is YOU. That’s why it is called LOVE MAKING…because where there is pure love, there is no judgment and ridicule.
Being in the nude with someone is one of the most vulnerable situations in which you can be with another person. If, while in this vulnerable state, someone is judging you and making hurtful comments, you need to ask yourself if the man really loves you anyway. In that situation, your body isn’t the issue…your relationship is the problem.
So back to your self-consciousness…kill it girl! Stop beating yourself up. You don’t enjoy sex or want to have it because you are concerned about too much. It’s time for you to overcome the psychological barrier of self-image as it pertains to your sex life. It’s affecting the intimacy of your relationship. So first off, initiate sex. I know that is foreign to most of you because most of you currently have to be coaxed or coerced into getting it on. But this time, you initiate the love making. If you need some tips on how to do this, email me. Next, get undressed with your man and make love UNCOVERED WITH THE LIGHTS ON! This will help you to confront your self-image issue and to see that, when it comes to getting down, it doesn’t even matter!
You know, if you don’t deal with your body image issues, you could lose your thunder thighs and tone up the kangaroo pouch on your stomach and you will still be uncomfortable allowing your lover to see you naked. You gotta deal with what’s inside your head. You may need to drop some pounds, but you also need to drop the criticality with which you judge your own body. Let it go girl! Go make that man HAZY!!!
If you like this post let me know. If you didn’t like this post let me know. I want to hear from you. You can send me an email at any time at melinda@libifit.com. I read and respond to every email.
Melinda