As women, better yet as people, we all have hopes and dreams. I for one, am overflowing with ideas and aspirations. A while ago, when I would get an idea, my first impulse is to run and tell someone. I would tell my friends and family and sometimes, they would not share my same enthusiasm and that would cause me to question my idea and become much less motivated and excited about it. Overtime, I realized that some ideas, dreams and ambitions, just should not be shared right off… or only shared with certain people. Here’s why…
Now it’s not that your friends and loved ones aren’t excited about your idea because many times they are. However, sometimes they have limiting beliefs and assumptions in their own minds which they immediately apply to the ideas or dream you share with them. It’s not their fault. It may be a condition of their surrounds, it may be past failures, and it may even be their expectations for their own lives. You know in all honesty, if you are currently working at a retail store as a cashier, or if you are a stay at home mom, or if you are working an administrative job making $45,000 per year, and you all of a sudden have an idea that you are going to go to law school to be an attorney that fights for women’s rights, or an idea to create an app which would make navigating a grocery store easier…that’s a significant turnaround from what people currently see in your life. Because of this, questions, doubts and limiting beliefs immediately arise and the excitement you have for your idea…well…they just don’t have it.
This can be very de-motivating and dejecting. They aren’t trying to hurt you or stifle your dreams, because I am sure they want the very best for you. However in an indirect manner, that’s what they’re doing. This is why it’s better, sometimes to just keep your dreams to yourself for a while or be very selective about who you share them with.
Think of your dreams as precious new born baby. When you first have a child, they are delicate and you are particular about who holds them, who’s around them, and who handles them. You shield them and protect them a bit more intensely at the beginning of their life because they are much more vulnerable to being hurt or damaged. Your new dreams and ideas are the same. New ideas need time to grow and time to be nurtured by you before other people can handle them. For instance, when my 10-month old son was born, my eight-year old daughter was dying to hold him. I could not allow her to hold him right off because he was too fragile and small and she may drop him or handle him incorrectly. In her little heart, I know she loved her little brother and would not purposefully hurt him; however, he was just too “new” for her to handle.
So, before you share your dreams and ambitions, think about those who you share them with. Ask yourself, “Can this person handle my dreams?” “Do they have big dreams?” Telling someone you want to start a new company, go back to school for a radical career change, or just see the world, is too much for some people to handle and if you are the type that needs a cheerleader, or if you already have doubts, this could prove to be destructive for your dreams.
To sum it up ladies, be selective and possibly maybe even initially quite about your dreams. I must be honest and say that somethings, I have only shared with God. Actually he knows what I am thinking anyway, but some of my biggest dreams, I haven’t told anyone. I am just quietly working towards them and when people see the fruits of my labor, then I will begin to reveal my big plans.
Do you have any big dreams? If you do, share them in the comments below. I will be your cheerleader!
Till next time…
Melinda